Shital Kakkar Mehra

Launch of my book " Business Etiquette: A guide for the Indian Professional"

2012-01-25T02:05:00.000-08:00

It gives me great pleasure to share with you that HarperCollins India has recently published my book "Business Etiquette: A guide for the Indian Professional " ( http://www.softskillsinternational.com/publications.htm).

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Several Industry leaders have given it advance praise – a few quotes are enclosed below:

Deepak Parekh, Chairman, HDFC Group: "I would recommend Business Etiquette to anyone who is serious about forging successful business relationships internationally. It is a reader-friendly book, written in jargon- free language. A practical guide with several useful tips from an experienced voice. Ideal for students and young entrepreneurs".

Dr. Kiran Mazumdar-Shaw, Chairperson & Managing Director, Biocon Ltd.: " A comprehensive guide to business etiquette. I am impressed by the author's insights and her practical inputs. A book that will make a positive impact in the corporate world".

Dr. J.J.Irani, Former Director, Tata Sons: " Many a good business deal has been aborted due to lack of business etiquette in conveying the same. This book would help to greatly mitigate that deficiency".

M. Damodaran, Management Consultant, Advisor and Former SEBI, IDBI &UTI: " Shital Kakkar Mehra’s book is a timely offering that captures, between two covers, many aspects of business etiquette including conversation, dress, civility and social skills. It is a must read (and a must practise!) book for every person that seeks to conquer".

BUSINESS CARD - POWERFUL VISUAL TOOL

2012-01-09T12:52:00.000-08:00

First used in 17th century France, small “Visite Biletes" or visiting cards were used by visitors to write promissory notes. Later, Continental Europe and finally USA adopted them, making these cards an essential business tool. Today, companies regard the business card as a powerful visual tool of their corporate image, investing substantial resources in designing them. At the personal level, the business card effectively and quickly explains the designation and role of the person presenting it, making it easier to conduct conversation.

WHEN PRESENTING YOUR CARD:

• Present the card with both your hands (in the Japanese style). This is increasing practiced in the business world, emerging as the global style of exchanging business cards. The reading material should face the recipient.

• In a cocktail party or a networking event, place your cards in the right pocket of your jacket, making them more accessible, as you will be holding your drink in your left hand. Present the card with your right hand only.

• In a sit-down meal, exchange cards before or after the meal. Food and cards don’t mix!

• Carry cards in a card folder, ensuring they stay neat and crisp. Soiled and stained cards reflect poorly on your professional image.

• Don’t jot down notes on the business card.

• If your contact details or designation has changed, order a fresh set of cards instead of making changes on out-of-date cards.

WHEN RECEIVING THE CARD:

• Accept the business card with both your hands.

• Quickly glance through the card, reading the name / designation/ firm. Use business cards as ice-breakers – a comment on the content / design of the card is a great way to start a conversation with a stranger.

• Place the card neatly in your jacket pocket or handbag.

• Don’t leave cards behind on the table.

INTERNATIONAL PROTOCOL:

• As everyone loves the sound of their own name, make an instant connect with your business associates by using their names. To achieve this, place their business cards in front of you in the same order as they are seated in the business meeting.

• Designations on business cards give you a fair idea of the firm’s organization structure.

COMMUNICATING WITH CXO’s

2011-07-26T01:49:00.000-07:00

Regardless of the nature of a business, to establish oneself as a market leader or a subject expert, one has to communicate with the “C” people. Usually, CXO’s are high performers who’re driven by results, are extremely focused and willing to invest time in activities that will help them achieve their goals. A few pointers will help in your interactions:

• As CXO’s are difficult to reach, request for a meeting via a formal introduction from a common business partner.

• While the word homework brings back unpleasant memories of school days, its worth doing your homework before meeting with CXO’s. Research on their personal interests, recent awards they’ve won, forums / committees they are spearheading, education and work profile.

• Start the meeting with small talk, transition smoothly to business talk and end with small talk. Try to connect on issues of common interest and display good listening skills.

• Most CXO’s have astute minds and are looking for people who can spar with them intellectually. Prepare the data points for discussions which will go back and forth on how your product / service will address their business problem.

• Be wiling to discuss your product at both micro and macro levels, as CXO’s are adept at moving from one to the other smoothly.

• As their time is their most precious commodity, present data in an easy to read format – CXO’s have no time to connect the dots.

• While on one hand CXO’s dislike power points, on the other hand they themselves speak in bullet points! Its best you leave the slides behind; instead talk to them about potential solutions to their business problem.

• During the meeting, focus on building your personal brand by dressing appropriately, addressing formally and displaying the highest level of professionalism.

• CXO’s are constantly scouting for new ideas, cutting-edge solutions and industry information, before their competitors can get its hands on them. They’re constantly looking for products / services which can address their biggest challenges i.e. profitability, employee retention and creating wealth for their stakeholders.

• Stay in touch after the meeting by occasionally sending information, giving you an edge over your competitors. Also, this ensures that when it’s time for decision-making, your name will enjoy the highest recall in the CXO’s mind.

2011-02-21T23:14:00.001-08:00

I am pleased to inform you that my column "Mind Your Manners" is back in the Corporate Dossier, The Economic Times.

Last Friday's article "Is it 'OK' to check your Blackberry or iPhone during business meetings?" can be read online:

http://economictimes.indiatimes.com/features/corporate-dossier/is-it-ok-to-check-your-blackberry-or-iphone-during-business-meetings/articleshow/7517679.cms

MOBILE PHONES AND YOUR PERSONALITY

2011-02-04T03:13:00.000-08:00

Read this article in The Economic Times which speaks about how mobiles say a lot about your personality. As per research done by social analyst David Chalke, a person’s mobile phone “gives an insight into their attitudes towards work, rest and play. People always used to say it about cars, ‘you drive what you are’… and now your phone (represents) what you are.”

Read his observations and see your personality type:

Sony Ericsson - good social life and enjoys fast food
LG handset - women aged 14 - 24 years, not mechanically minded
Samsung - conservative dressers over 50 years
Blackberry users - high-earners aged 35 to 49
Nokia users - young, plays arcade video games

THE ART OF HOLDING A GLASS

2010-11-23T01:17:00.001-08:00

My article has been published in Manual - Business Today, October 2010: http://businesstoday.intoday.in/bt/story/9850/1/manual.html

Shital Kakkar Mehra of Soft Skills International, Mumbai-based specialists in Corporate Etiquette and International Protocol, tells you the right way to hold a glass of wine: "During wine-tasting sessions, the most common blunder committed is holding the wine glass by the bowl like it's a cup of tea. While it may look snobbish to some, there are three very good reasons for holding the glass by the stem:

1. Visual: Color and clarity play a critical role in wine appreciation, which are tested by holding a clear glass against light. Does the wine allow light to pass through it partially or is it almost opaque? Is it a young bright red or an old rich mahogany? Is it a young pale white or an old deep gold? Does it have pronounced 'wine legs'? Is there a sediment? While reputed wine glasses offer superb clarity, grubby fingers or fingers wrapped around the bowl of the glass block the view either partially or completely.

2. Temperature: This creates a big impact on the taste of the wine. Whites and Champagnes are served chilled while reds are served at 'room temperature' (18 degrees Centigrade). By holding the bowl, you risk warming the wine, thereby altering its taste.

3. Style Quotient: Good wine glasses are designed with long stems, which look extremely elegant when held the right way. If you are one of those who enjoys holding the bowl, drink your wine from a paper tumbler instead! So go ahead, pinch the stem between the thumb and your fingers and lift the glass gracefully. Some wine veterans and professional wine-tasters prefer to grip the base of the glass besides the stem, which facilitates swirling which in turn releases the flavors trapped in the wine. Slainte.

GET A FIRM GRIP ON PERFECT HANDSHAKE WITH THIS FORMULA

2010-07-26T22:14:00.000-07:00

From Times Of India

Melbourne: Scientists in United Kingdom reckon that they have devised the formula for the perfect handshake.

The traditional form of greeting needs to be executed with the right hand and a complete grip firm squeeze , cool dry palm, three shakes with medium vigour and no longer that three seconds all accompanied by an appropriate verbal statement .

Manchester, University researchers have unveiled a mathematical formula for the “perfect handshake” which according to them should convey respect and trust. The formula is PH = ?(e2+ve2)(d2) +(cg +dr)2 +2+(vi+ t + te)2 + {(42)( 42)}2.
In other words, sweaty palms, limp wrists, gripping too hard and lack of eye contact were contributors to a bad handshake.

Geoffrey Beattie, the university’s head of psychological sciences, took twelve key measures into account that would convey trust and respect.

“The human handshake is one of the most crucial elements of impression formation and is used as a source of information for making a judgment about another person,” the courier mail quoted Beattie as saying in a statement.

The researcher added that he was surprised “that up until now there has not been a guide showing people how they should shake hands ,” which has been a traditional greeting and a key part of business deals for thousands of years .

Twitter Etiquette

2010-07-12T23:17:00.000-07:00

Twitter has emerged as the social networking and microblogging tool of choice. Used for communicating a thought, adding an insightful comment or giving your perspective, it’s emerged as a popular tool for broadcasters and responders alike. While rules sound too formal on an informal and interactive forum like Twitter, certain guidelines will help you maintain a balanced profile.

· Choice of Subject: It’s important to understand that this communication tool is not about “you”, rather it’s about interacting with others. If you would not say it in real life, don’t tweet about it in the virtual world either. Twitter is not a forum to argue, debate or pick fights with people you find offensive or rude - simply unfollow them.

· Following people: Follow people who share a common interest with you and don’t feel obliged to follow people who are following you. Using this tactic will ensure that your homepage is not flooded with comments about topics which do not interest you. Sending automated messages welcoming your followers is not needed in an open forum like Twitter.

· Unfollow: When you decide to unfollow a person, do so without any guilt pangs and if others do the same with you, don’t get offended. In Twitter, you can choose the topics which interest you for the next few days/ weeks and decide to follow people discussing them. If you are following a person whose excessive tweeting is getting your goat, simply click the unfollow button.

· How much should you disclose? As a professional employed with a firm, do ensure that your opinions expressed on Twitter are not those related to or conflicting with your employer’s. As an entrepreneur, you can share your website address and your views on Twitter. When tweeting, do remember that after a point, your audience will be unable to separate your professional life from your personal life.

· Choice of subject: Stick to general topics instead of tweeting personal musing e.g. “off work today enjoying cleaning cupboard” or “at spa, foot massage is divine”. Try to add value with your comments, instead of courting visibility or attention.

· Don’t spam/ promote products/services: While Twitter offers you a chance to connect with strangers/ wider audience, don’t misuse this tool by sending private messages to all your contacts. Sending surveys or links to your website will upset your followers, who will treat your tweets/ messages as spam, making you lose credibility. It’s the same rules as in real life - common sense and courtesy prevail. It would’ve helped Shashi Tharoor and Lalit Modi if they had adhered to Twitter guidelines before launching into a “tweet attack” and pulling each other down!

SKILLS FOR GLOBAL SUCCESS

2010-05-24T23:29:00.000-07:00

Conversation is the "spoken interaction between people and involves an exchange of information and ideas". While culture plays a distinctive role in how people conduct conversation, the universal problem with conversation is that words once spoken cannot be reversed. Drawing on my work with senior Indian executives, I have compiled the top 6 tips for Indian executives engaged in cross-border business interactions:

1. Slow Down! We speak English very fast, and this poses a challenge for all our international business associates for whom it's not a first language. Use simple English words, avoid slang and slow down the speed of conversation. After all, the purpose of conversation is to ensure that your business associates understand you!

2. Punctuality: While we speak fast, we are slow to reach our business meetings, both face-to-face and virtual. If we are looking to sell our goods and services at globally competitive prices, we need to be "on time" and not "in time", which is a 15 minute relaxed window.

3. Proud to be an Indian: India has arrived on the world stage, so don't run down your country in your conversation with foreigners. Instead of speaking about the inadequate infrastructure and abject poverty, shift the focus of the conversation to our booming economy, increasing transparency by government bodies and the emerging role of CSR by India Inc.

4. Accept Hospitality: If your host offers you tea / coffee/ snack/ water, take it, thank them and eat it ( or at least pretend to eat it! ). In several countries, including parts of India, refusing hospitality is akin to insulting your host.

5. Be Formal: When in doubt, be formal e.g. dress formally, display formal body language, address people using their full names, use full sentences instead of sms language in written communication, etc. Formal is not offensive in any country but casual can tick off people in most parts of the world.

6. Show Humility: Last but not the least, you will be forgiven several faux-pas if you show respect for your host's culture and display humility while interacting with people. Pay attention to how people behave, the way they dress & interact with each other and the role of religion in their lives. You will notice that simple non-verbal signals like handshakes and eye contact vary substantially from culture to culture, giving subtle clues about power and hierarchy in the corporate world.

Wishing you an enjoyable summer break!

2010-01-12T02:37:00.000-08:00

Read an interesting article which states that male fish of certain species punish the female fish, if they display bad manners when dining. Goes to show that dining skills are on display underwater too. Read the full article: http://news.yahoo.com/s/livescience/20100107/sc_livescience/fishpunishfishforbadmanners

THE TOP 10 DINING DO’S

2009-10-20T23:07:00.000-07:00

As more than 50% of all business decisions are taken over a breakfast, lunch or dinner, meal etiquette has become an essential career skills for today's executives.

Following are The Top 10 Dining Do’s:

1. Do try a little of everything served to you, unless you know you’re allergic to a certain food.

2. Do take small bites and you’ll find it’s easier to answer questions or join in table talk.

3. Do remember solids (food) are always on your left, liquids (beverages) are on your right.

4. Do leave your fork and knife in 10:20 position to indicate “I am finished” to the wait staff. (Visualize the face of a clock and place the tips of the silverware at 10 o’clock and the handles at 4 o’clock).

5. Do butter the bread on the plate, never midair. Eat a bread roll by breaking off a small piece, buttering it and munching on it.

6. Do remember your posture at the table. Sit up straight, and keep your arms (including elbows) off the table.

7. Do point out stones, bugs or hair in your food to the wait staff, but in a non-combative manner and you’ll get a replacement immediately.

8. Do remove objects such as bones or gristle from your mouth with your thumb and index finger and place it on the rim of the plate. Never spit food on the plate.

9. Do keep your hands on your lap or rest them on the table (with the wrists on the edge of the table) when not eating.

10. Do leave the ice cubes in the drink – they are not the edible part of the drink.

GREETINGS ARE EVOLVING!

2009-09-13T22:17:00.000-07:00

"The firm handshake in business and the air-kissing in social settings seem to be under threat globally! While these greetings are practiced universally, in today’s world they both involve touching, an act which spreads the threatening H1N1 virus. Parts of the world are trying to steer clear of these two greetings by shifting to either verbal greetings or shoulder greeting (placing a gentle hand on the other person’s shoulder) to avoid physical contact and the spread of this virus. In India, we have the elegant “Namaste” (rated by the Time magazine as the most graceful way to greet), which may soon emerge as the greeting of choice!"

THE A B C OF BUSINESS HANDSHAKES

2009-05-25T23:01:00.000-07:00

Handshakes are the universal physical greeting that accompanies the verbal exchange of pleasantries. In the business world today, handshake has emerged as the only physical contact between professionals. We notice people non-verbally and a handshake reveals a great deal about our inner traits, personality, feelings and levels of motivation. A well-executed handshake is a critical component in creating a great first impression.

YOU SHAKE HANDS WHEN:

Introduced to a person
Entering a meeting / boardroom room
Congratulating a business associate
Inking a business deal or at the end of a negotiation
Departing after a business meeting / at a networking event/ social gathering
Offering condolence

POWER POINTS ON HANDSHAKES:

Always with the right hand
Extend your hand with the thumb up and fingers out, as it helps the other person connect better with your hand.
Web-to-web: A well-executed handshake is one where you connect with the person’s web (the area between the thumb and the index finger).
Shake from the elbow - moving the shoulder muscle makes the handshake too firm and moving the wrist muscles make it too dainty.
Although dependent upon the culture, two smooth pumps has emerged as the universally accepted handshake.
Maintain shoulder-to-shoulder stance as it projects confidence and conveys positive body language.
Offer a dry hand, as we associate clammy hands with nervousness and anxiety, all negatives in the business arena.
Shake hands with everyone - there exists no hierarchy when shaking hands in business.
Be mindful if someone has a disability, especially with older women & men and wait until they offer their hand.

ACROSS THE WORLD:

AUSTRALIA/ CANADA / USA: Firm grip and two smooth strokes. In the US, it can sometime extend to three strokes.
CHINA / JAPAN: Light grip, three to four gentle strokes.
INDONESIA: Nodding, accompanied with the hand shake.
MIDDLE EAST: Limp and lingering, slight up and down movement with plenty of eye contact, accompanied with the traditional verbal greeting.
HONG KONG: Less firm than their western counterparts. Socially, older persons before younger and women before men.
SINGAPORE: Soft, light touch.
PHILLIPINES: US style handshake, accompanied by a pat on the back.

FAQ:

Q: What should I do if I extend my hand for a hand shake and the other person does not reciprocate?

A: Nothing! Just move on and pretend it never happened - etiquette is about putting other people at ease.

Q: What are the gender rules about handshaking?

A: Globally, business has become gender-neutral. Any one who offers their hand first, man or woman, has an advantage. A quick handshake helps eliminate the initial hesitation, a common fear that grips most people in the first few seconds of meeting a new person.

GLOBAL TIPPING TIPS

2009-05-12T00:19:00.000-07:00

To tip or not to tip? Once you decide that you should tip then the question is how much? To further complicate matters, the rules for tipping vary across the world – what is expected in a New York restaurant is considered rude in a Tokyo sushi bar! Also, did you know that many European restaurants add the tip to your bill? There are a few guidelines, which can help you become a savvy business traveler:

Australia / New Zealand:

No tipping, service charge is almost always included - the price you see, is the price you pay. However, if the menu reads 'Service Not Included', tip 10%. Taxi drivers are not tipped but simply told to keep the small change.

Canada:

Service staff in restaurants / bars expect 15% tip but you are not expected to tip if the service was bad. Taxi drivers are generally paid US$2 per bag.

China:

No tip. For exceptional service in top-end restaurant, leave 3-4% as tip. For excellent service in a hotel, leave money in an envelope at the desk, which can be distributed to the staff. Taxi drivers do not expect any tip. In hotels, a small tip is handed over to bell boys / valets.

Egypt:

Tipping is a way of life. At the end of the cruise/boat ride, leave a small tip for the crew and the tour guide. In many hotels, service charge of 10% may be levied and you are expected to further tip 5% to the wait staff. Taxi drivers do not expect a tip.

Continental Europe:

Although there may be some variations across this continent, generally a cover charge of 10-15% is included in the bill. People leave a small tip (rounding up the bill) of a euro or two for restaurant staff and taxi drivers. In restaurants, the extra tip is handed discreetly, by saying the total amount to the service provider, who hands over the balance after deducting the tip. If you are happy with the service in a hotel, leave a small tip in your room for the housekeeping maid. Usually, it is Euro 2-3 for the bell boy, Euro 1-2 for the doorman and a couple of Euros for the tour guides. Public restroom attendants are happy with 50 Euro cents.

Hong Kong:

10%-15% service charge is common. Most restaurants add 10% to the bill automatically and 5% extra is usually given by the patrons at the end of the meal. Taxi drivers in the city don’t expect tips but usually round up to the nearest dollar and tip themselves! Taxi drivers taking you to the airport, expect a tip for helping with your luggage.

Japan:

No tip. 10%-20% is included as service charge in all hotel / restaurant bills/ sushi bars. It is rude to hand over the money directly - if you felt the service in the hotel was exceptionally good, put money in a small envelope and leave it at the desk.

Singapore:

Tipping is not encouraged. Restaurants levy a 10% service charge and no further tip is expected. The only exceptions are hotel porters (S $1 per bag) and valet parkers in restaurants (S$3-5). Taxi drivers do not expect a tip.

United Kingdom:

In larger cities, 10%-12% service charge is usually levied. In a pub, leave no tip for the food served but tip the bartenders with a drink by saying "...and one for yourself" after you've finished. This is a way of inviting them to have a drink, which they don’t but will thank you and take a small amount in lieu of that. Taxi drivers expect 10%. When tipping, it is polite to not show the money you are giving it but to press into the person’s hand when shaking hands. Tipping in the rest of UK is at 5% - 10%.

USA:

Tipping is a part of the highly customer-service oriented American culture. Compensations in the food & beverage, personal services (masseurs / packers & movers / hair dressers) & hospitality industries are structured with the expectation that the employees can earn extra through tips. It is usually 10% for mediocre service and goes up to 20 % for exceptional service in a top-end full service restaurant. Wine stewards involved in the selection and serving are tipped 10% - 15% of the wine bill and bartenders 10%-15% of the bar bill. Leave no tip in fast food/ self service restaurants / in motels. In pubs, you are expected to put a couple of dollars in the tray at the bar counter. Depending on the class of the hotel, porters are generally tipped US$1 per bag, concierge about $ 5 for help provided and housekeeping staff $ 3-5 per night per room.

International Travel:

As we can see, every country puts a different value on service provided. When in doubt, follow these global rules:

Gather local knowledge on tipping etiquette through websites / guidebooks of the country. Also, gain an understanding of the value of the country’s currency vs. the wages paid.
Always calculate tipping amount pre-tax.
Use local currency for tipping and not U.S. dollars - wastes money converting it to the local currency.
When paying by credit cards, either fill in or cross out the blank before the total amount, to prevent frauds.
When in doubt, be nice! Give the locals the benefit of language and cultural differences and tip 10-15%!

8 COMMON BUSINESS MEAL FAUX PAS

2009-01-13T23:01:00.000-08:00

Frequently, in business, we say "let's catch up over lunch" to an associate or a client. A business meal sounds casual but there are several skills, besides your dining skills, which are on display. A few reasons why a business meal can go all wrong:

Arriving late: Not acceptable. Reach a few minutes before your guests, request for your table and wait in the lobby area/ at your table. While waiting, order nothing for yourself.
Rudeness to the wait staff: A superb way to embarrass everyone! It's acceptable to politely ask the wait staff questions about the menu or bring to their notice problems with your order. Beckon the waiter by making eye contact or briefly raising your hand.
Wrong choice of restaurant: Know your restaurant by referring to reliable sources. Ideal business restaurants are those where the seating is in discreet booths, making it difficult for the other patrons to see/ hear you.
Not knowing your guest: Some business persons enjoy leisurely four-course meals in up market restaurants, while others are happier with a quick sandwich in a coffee-shop / deli - what does your guest prefer?
Wrong table: The restaurant may the best in the business; the food may be divine but you end up being seated with an important client, right next to the buffet counter! A wrong table can be a deal-breaker.
Wrong Timing: The appropriate time to start business discussions is driven by culture. In the US, it is after ordering the drinks & starters, while in Europe you wait till the host raises the toast. When in doubt, follow your instinct and take cues from those around you.
Overdoing the alcohol: Not acceptable!
Weak follow-up: End the meal with a firm handshake and a warm "thank you". As handwritten notes stand out in today's paperless offices, send one to your host thanking him/her for the meal. Also, send a note to your client thanking him/her for taking the time out for a meal with you. This note can be used effectively to highlight your discussions during the meal.